Proposals, life, and gardening, in no particular order...

Most of you know I recently moved to North Carolina from MA. When I tell you this has been the trip of a lifetime I am not lying. I am originally from TX and AZ so this move has been like coming home to me. I LOVE it here! However, my DBF is from MA via Greece. He is a little out of his element here. He has had the luck/blessing of making new friends with some awesome Southern transplanted men (Lee and HeyTom), and a few natives (Robert), so he is adapting well. Every morning I wake up I am awed at the beauty of where I am. I do not deserve this, but I will take the blessings as they come. The FlyLady has taught me that if you don't dream big you won't receive big. She rocks. I love her so.

Sometimes I pinch myself when I wake up in my beautiful bed next to my sweet Demos and my adorable kittens in my precious house. I'm not sure if any of you ever feel this way, but I really am so happy when I wake up and I am where I am. I certainly never thought I would be here 5 years ago. Wait, I never thought I would be here 6 months ago! You see, I am the type of girl who never gets the fairytale ending. I really don't mean to even suggest a pity party, it just is what it is. I have learned to accept reality for reality and fantasy for fantasy. Some things are just meant to be...or are they?

Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe that circumstances determine the outcome of your life? I did until recently. Don't feel bad if you do because I used to think that all of my outside influences (abuse, neglect, blah blah blah) were responsible for who I am. I thought I could never be bigger than my abuse. I truly believed that I didn't need to forgive the ones who hurt me and that I was justified in my anger and repression. Oh for shame. How wrong could I have been?

Ok, so just so no one gets upset at me, I want to say that I understand how circumstances can be so bad you don't want to live. I have literally been there. Without sharing everything, I have been abused physically, sexually, mentally, and whatever "ly" you want to add. It is what it is. I can either hold on to that abuse or let it go. I chose to let it go.

If you don't believe that YOU are in control of who YOU are let me give you proof: I am in love with the most awesome man in the world. He values my strengths, my intelligence, my humor and even my body. I know right? He really, truly does. I can't even explain how great he is but he loves me. I do believe this with all that I am. We met 3 years ago and he has asked me to marry him many times in the 3 years we've known each other. I always refuse because I thought it was because he pity's me , he must just want my money (HAHAHHA) or my wisdom (which is huge, let me tell you!). But, alas, he loves me for me. I can't argue anymore.

I'm getting married 1/11/2011. What a cool anniversary date is that? 1/11/11

It is kind of cool. Oh, BTW, it's a Tuesday. Mark your calendars!

On a side note: I want to plant a garden but I have to wait until April. Boo. If anyone finds a way to plant veggies in mid winter please do let me know.

xoxo