I am offically a Cat Lady...

You know how you love your best friend and she can tell you anything and you will still love her? My BFF is far away in LA. I think the distance empowers her. She doesn't hesitate to tell me exactly what she thinks. See skype conversation example below:

Nikki says: I need a camera that does a complete 360
Nikki says: i did get great pics of my ninja cats beating each other up
Nikki says: omg I got the cutest pic of the cat sleeping on D
Nikki says: yes I am officially a cat lady
LA BFF says: wow
LA BFF says: cat lady
Nikki says: ok I only have 2 cats
Nikki says: you have to have 3 to be one
LA BFF says: i think having 2
LA BFF says: as long as you act like u do
LA BFF says: makes u a cat lady
Nikki says: yes
Nikki says: ok fine
Nikki says: whatever
LA BFF says: haha

I do love her.

Ok, I'm posting links to pictures of my cats because I HATE Blogger and I can NOT figure out how to get a dang pic uploaded! GRrrrrrr....

Maybe some day I will grow up and get a real blog?

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/xxxpoisongirlxxxx/attack03.jpg

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/xxxpoisongirlxxxx/BooLaundry.jpg

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/xxxpoisongirlxxxx/BooOnDemos.jpg

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/xxxpoisongirlxxxx/BooSoCute.jpg

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/xxxpoisongirlxxxx/StinkyMad.jpg

Love/Hate Relatioships and the power of the click!

I have a love/hate relationship with my wood floors. Most of y'all know I just moved into the cutest new house in the woods of NC. I live in heaven. Not even kidding. I do. However, for the very first time in my life, I have all wood floors. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way they look. It is easy to decorate against the warm tones, and for the most part I can keep them fairly clean...Ok, I lie. I haven't really even figured out how to keep them clean. I am perplexed and frustrated.

When I first moved in, and everything was spotless, it seemed adequate to sweep as necessary. I'd quickly wipe up any spill as it happened and that was that. Please keep in mind I have never lived anywhere that didn't have wall to wall carpeting. I did purchase some entrance rugs, a rug for in front of the coffee table, the sink, and I got a beautiful housewarming gift from Marla of a rug in the bedroom, however, the rest of the house is entirely wood floor. So...herein lies the issue...

I have 2 cats. They are the cutest cats in the entire world. I know every person who owns a pet says the same thing, but I am not even lying. My cats are the cutest. Since I can't figure out how to upload a photo you will have to take my word for it. Ok, so the cats are pretty wild. They run in and out of their cat box, they rip out each others hair, they tear up toilet paper, they knock anything off of any flat surface that is around. They tear down the shower curtain. I can sweep, vacuum, mop, and cry, but I can't keep my beautiful wood floor clean. I guess I could if it was all I had to do, but since it isn't I don't know what to do! WAAAAAAH!

I was just wondering if any of you had any suggestions short of giving the cats away. That isn't gonna happen. Remember, they are the cutest cats in the world!

On a lighter note...I've found a few new blogs that I adore. I'm going to link here and y'all can view as you wish. I don't even know how I found them except that I clicked, and clicked, and clicked and then, somewhere in about the 1,345th click I was hooked. I'm sure you know how that goes. I gotta love the power of the click! Here you go:

Crazy Aunt Purl

Healthy Tipping Point

The funny thing is I don't knit (I crochet) and I don't run! HAHAHAAH! I'm sorry, it just cracks me up that the 2 blogs I am recommending are about things I don't do. Please don't let that discourage you from reading either blog.

Ok, I'm gonna go hang with my fiance. OMG, I just said fiance! You know what that means, that means I am really, truly getting married. I need a girlfriend scream, are you ready???!?! OMG! ACK!

I love you all!
xoxo

Proposals, life, and gardening, in no particular order...

Most of you know I recently moved to North Carolina from MA. When I tell you this has been the trip of a lifetime I am not lying. I am originally from TX and AZ so this move has been like coming home to me. I LOVE it here! However, my DBF is from MA via Greece. He is a little out of his element here. He has had the luck/blessing of making new friends with some awesome Southern transplanted men (Lee and HeyTom), and a few natives (Robert), so he is adapting well. Every morning I wake up I am awed at the beauty of where I am. I do not deserve this, but I will take the blessings as they come. The FlyLady has taught me that if you don't dream big you won't receive big. She rocks. I love her so.

Sometimes I pinch myself when I wake up in my beautiful bed next to my sweet Demos and my adorable kittens in my precious house. I'm not sure if any of you ever feel this way, but I really am so happy when I wake up and I am where I am. I certainly never thought I would be here 5 years ago. Wait, I never thought I would be here 6 months ago! You see, I am the type of girl who never gets the fairytale ending. I really don't mean to even suggest a pity party, it just is what it is. I have learned to accept reality for reality and fantasy for fantasy. Some things are just meant to be...or are they?

Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe that circumstances determine the outcome of your life? I did until recently. Don't feel bad if you do because I used to think that all of my outside influences (abuse, neglect, blah blah blah) were responsible for who I am. I thought I could never be bigger than my abuse. I truly believed that I didn't need to forgive the ones who hurt me and that I was justified in my anger and repression. Oh for shame. How wrong could I have been?

Ok, so just so no one gets upset at me, I want to say that I understand how circumstances can be so bad you don't want to live. I have literally been there. Without sharing everything, I have been abused physically, sexually, mentally, and whatever "ly" you want to add. It is what it is. I can either hold on to that abuse or let it go. I chose to let it go.

If you don't believe that YOU are in control of who YOU are let me give you proof: I am in love with the most awesome man in the world. He values my strengths, my intelligence, my humor and even my body. I know right? He really, truly does. I can't even explain how great he is but he loves me. I do believe this with all that I am. We met 3 years ago and he has asked me to marry him many times in the 3 years we've known each other. I always refuse because I thought it was because he pity's me , he must just want my money (HAHAHHA) or my wisdom (which is huge, let me tell you!). But, alas, he loves me for me. I can't argue anymore.

I'm getting married 1/11/2011. What a cool anniversary date is that? 1/11/11

It is kind of cool. Oh, BTW, it's a Tuesday. Mark your calendars!

On a side note: I want to plant a garden but I have to wait until April. Boo. If anyone finds a way to plant veggies in mid winter please do let me know.

xoxo

No Regrets...

My mentor, mama and friend Marla Cilley - The FlyLady - told me recently that there is NO need for regret. I have been thinking about what she said a lot recently. We were having our normal and wonderful discussion one night and I was telling her that there were several things in my past I wish I could change. Decisions I made, people I hurt, path's that I took etc. I'm sure y'all understand. In her beautiful and gracious way she said the most profound thing to me... she said, "Nikki, you wouldn't be where you are right now if everything in your past hadn't happened."

I don't know why, I don't know how, and I can't even get my head around the reason, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Right now, this time in my life is an incredible journey towards my purpose. I was dead and now I am alive. Literally and figuratively, I am at complete peace with this soul my body houses. I vow, every morning, to live, love, laugh, share, and pay it forward.

Right quick I want to share with you a lesson I recently learned. I learn many everyday, just in case you were wondering if I knew everything. I do not. My God chooses to teach me often. I am forever grateful. Just when I think I have a clue, He reminds me I have none :)

I recently moved to Heaven on Earth. I am fortunate enough to have found a home in the Forest of North Carolina. When I tell you the tree's sing to me and the wind eases my soul I am not lying. It is truly my dream come true. Not only am I living in the most beautiful Narnia/Fairy scenery, I am surrounded by people who GET me. If you have ever NOT been around people who get you, you will understand just how important this is. Anyway, this love is all new to me. My first experience with any real love was with the Marla and the FlyBabies. The FlyBabies understand me like no one ever has. They feel my pain, they cry when I cry, they rejoice when I do. They have restored my faith in friendship. Well, my nephew texted me soon after the move and asked if I was happy, to which I promptly replied, "Yes, for some reason these people like me and think I am valuable. They genuinely love me." His simple reply? "DUH!"

I understand more now, than ever, that our own perception of ourselves is entirely different than others perception of us. There isn't a FlyBaby I know who I don't respect, admire, love, and cherish. I am privileged to know each and every one of you, and I hope I give back as much as I have received. Please love you as much as I LOVE YOU!

That's all I have to say tonight. I hope to see many of you in Kentucky soon! Thank you for teaching me the value of me, and thank you for loving me in spite of me. Please accept my love back.

xoxo
Nikki

You cannot control the length of your life, only the depth...

Boo! I missed my birthday blog post. I turned 3 years old on April 15th, 2009. It sucks that it is on Tax Day because I'm always so busy and everyone else is otherwise engaged. I don't even think my DBF remembered it was my birthday. He hasn't said anything and it's been over a week. I'm gonna guess it slipped his mind.

April 15th, 2006 is the most important day of my life. It is the day I was given a second chance. Not very many people ever get that chance so I want to make sure I never forget. The story behind what happened isn't really what matters, the outcome of the situation is. The outcome is that the Universe, God, Gods, Mother, whomever, decided it wasn't my time to leave this earth and pushed me back to life after a tragic motorcycle accident. I say pushed because that is exactly what he/she/they did! Pushed me back all the time I was begging to stay.

I think about that accident almost every day. I remember exactly what happened leading up to the crash, and I remember where I went when I was "dead". I mostly recall how bad it hurt to be alive. Some will argue there is no after life. I'm here to tell you there most certainly is. It is a place I NEVER wanted to leave. I'm not sure if it's the same for everyone, however, for me, it was perfect love, pain free, and beautiful. It was everything I long for in this life and MORE! The ironic thing is, as much as I protested being sent back to my broken body, once I was conscious I realized what a true miracle it was! OMG! I got a second chance. I was dead and now I'm alive!

Let me say Happy Birthday to me since no one else did. I won't ever forget that this life is precious. You never know if you're going to see tomorrow, so please make today count. Please just DO IT. I know it's cliche, but I am going to say it over and over again. Live today like it's your last. You just never know if it will be. Make sure everyone you love knows how much you love them. Hug your family, your friends, your mentors, your boss, your mailman! Heck, hug the grocery girl at the check out counter. Smile BIG and don't fret the small stuff. Be BIG! Be BRAVE! Make a list of everyone and everything you are grateful for and let them know! Live, love, laugh, share and pay it forward!

************

I love Demos, Marla, My mom, Jenna, Shelby, The FlyBabies, great friends who love me in spite of me, peanut butter, sunshine, sharpies, bracelets, silver jewelry, tattoos, twitter,BTR, Photoshop, lipgloss, penny-arcade, music, black fingernail polish, fishing, the full moon, rock band, pedicures and giggles.

How my control journal makes me fabulous!

Hello my pretties!

I'm fixin' to go to NY tomorrow morning early. I only just found out about this trip this morning. I am SO forever grateful for my work control journal. I have about 18 hours of production that needs to be covered while I'm gone and because I FLY and keep a control journal it was not even a problem sending my coverage information to my boss. You just never know when you are going to need that information. It is invaluable when you do need it.

Speaking of needing, I need all of you so very much. It only dawns on me when I haven't been in a chat with you or able to read my emails for awhile. I want you to know how very important you are to me and that I really do appreciate every one of you who read this blog and FLY. I have never known such a wonderful and loving group.

Speaking of group, do you know that it is very difficult for me to be comfortable in a large group? I am very good at speaking in front of one, but that one on one situation in a large group with people mingling or waiting to talk really makes me anxious. I tend to zone out. The last FlyFest Kim (Sensory Nanny) caught me zoning and it was hysterical. She actually called my name a few times and was like OK Nikki, time for you to get out of this building and relax. I love her very much. I'm so glad she gets me.

Speaking of me, It's time for me to go to bed. I colored my calendar and it is now blue (the color I chose for sleep time). I am really trying to stay focused so I can remain fabulous. Even when it's difficult. I think Marla will be proud of me as I'm only 39 minutes late. HEY, for me that is a huge milestone! I promise to write from NY. I get to participate in a huge conference at Columbia School of Journalism and broadcast live over BlogTalkRadio. My goal is no technical issues and being fabulous. Do you think I can do it? FlyLady does. I believe her.

xoxo
Nikki out

Things are changing...everything.

Things are changing...Everything.

I hear it in the breeze as it weeps through the trees and I feel it in the raindrops falling from sad skies. I see it in everyone's eyes and I hear it in all of their voices. I even read it in their poetry (or lack thereof) and view it in their pieces of art. What was light is now dark, what was joy becomes mourn. I feel the weight of this change like a noose around my heart.

Things are changing...Everything.

I'm not quite sure how to put my finger on the pulse of what is happening, but I know for sure something is. It may be the collective conscious of our country because of the precarious economic times we are all facing. Perhaps it's the fact the world is becoming more aware of her own mortality. She isn't getting better. She knows if we keep abusing her she won't be around forever. Maybe her own mortality is reminding us of ours? I'm not quite sure.

Things are changing...Everything.

I'm very aware of my true destiny. I am certain that it will never change. I also understand sometimes in our lives we have relationships which don't last forever. Sometimes the Universe places us in someone's life for a very specific reason and for a very specific time. It's not my place to argue with the Universe. Even if I want more, longer, forever, eternal...

Things are changing...Everything.

I love my life and where I am right now at this very moment. It's been a long and difficult journey to finally get here. I'm tired and I just assumed this was where I would be. You know...where I would end. I've been there, done that. I have no more MORE. My more is here. This is where I am. This is who I am. However, it's not just about me. I am now a part of a we. I might be too much further ahead than he.

Things are changing...Everything.

There is a time and a place for everything. Isn't that what "they" always say. Whoever the hell "they" are. After some soul searching and self reflection I have decided that statement is not true in these times of change. I think there is a time and a place for some things.

For me, my everything? It's changing. Time to be fabulous.

xoxo
Nikki out

Twilight Star Taylor Lautner on BlogTalkRadio tonight!

Hello there my pretties. This has been quite a day and it's not even over. I've been struggling to be fabulous since 8am...

So, check this out! Stardish Radio , in partnership with Walmart and BlogTalkRadio are proud to present a live interview with Taylor "Jacob" Lautner. In case you've been living under a rock for the past 5 months (or you're as busy as I am and never get a chance to catch a movie) Taylor is the warewolf star of Twilight! Not only will Taylor be live and taking calls, we will be giving away DVD's of Twilight. Make sure to listen so you can win!

I am thrilled to be included in the production of this amazing show. Everyone at BlogTalkRadio, along with Walmart and Joann from Stardish, have worked very hard to make this happen. I know it will certainly be a show you don't want to miss! I do hope y'all can make it tonight. Show time is 9pm EST. Click here to listen live!

*Focusing on being fabulous, one

It only took me 6 days to write this first post

This blog is supposed to be about how focus makes me fabulous. The ironic thing is it has taken me 6 days to write. I actually have to LOL when I think about it. I've had this tab open in my browser for 6 days trying to complete it. Don't get me wrong, it's not because I procrastinated or because I didn't want to write it. It's simply because I am in a cycle of 3 steps forward 2 steps back. I know y'all understand that cycle. I sat down several times to complete it and something else more important came up. I have deadlines for work, family to attend too, a DBF who needs a kiss now and then. I really don't mean to neglect being fabulous, it's just sometimes other things get in the way.

I actually asked a very good friend to remind me to post this blog and I haven't heard back from her since the day I asked. That was Thursday afternoon. I bet she had as many things come up as I did. In fact, I feel very guilty for even suggesting she remind me because like me, she is a SHE. All my best plans seem to fail. The GOOD thing is, no matter how long this post ends up being, I am hitting submit on this darn blog post. At least then I can cross "Post Focus makes me Fabulous Blog" off my list.

Speaking of lists, did you know that lists can be a cause of great stress? I actually find them quite helpful when they are completed, and quite disturbing when they stare me in the face un crossed off. I'm not the type of person who enjoys seeing what I HAVE NOT completed. I know it might motivate people to see a list of 10 things that need to be done, however, for me, it only intimidates me and causes me anxiety. If it weren't for FlyLady and her loving advice I know I wouldn't be where I am today. Hmm...where am I today? Oh yes, I'm writing a blog about how focusing on the task at hand helps you be fabulous. See, even as I'm trying to focus I digress...

Basically, in a nutshell, what this blog will be is a peek into my daily life. If I can write everyday that is. A peek at how The FlyLady system (including Kelly, Leanne, Leslie, Pam, Jonathan, Tamara, and Kim) have all helped me realize that I am not alone and that my struggle truly is theirs. When you hear Marla say fluttering is flying she really means it. When Jonathan tells us there is NO Excuse, he truly lives it, and when Leanne promises meal planning will help us save money and have more time to play, SHE is right.

Listen here y'all, I am just one little example of how these people have changed my life. I don't pretend to know anything about anything except this...Focus really does make you fabulous. Routines rock, and when you finally love yourself you have the ability to give back.

I guess that's all I have to say tonight. I thank the Fly Family for all they have taught me, and especially Marla for loving me in spite of myself.

Live, love, laugh, share and pay it forward!

xoxo
Nikki